What I Miss During Quarantine

To start with, there’s nothing much I miss, actually. I am a CS student who stayed at home all the time except for the 2 hours class, 1 hour meander travel, more and less, and 1-2 hours of miscellaneous excuses to be out of the house. At home, I had an imperative routine of eating, sprawling flat on the floor and staring at the ceiling, eating, watching some movies on laptop or TV while I eat (or vice versa), scoring half a century for the number of times I open and close the refrigerator, watching YouTube videos about how to be productive, eating, listening to motivational speeches to prepare myself to be productive, eating, arranging my bookshelf, cupboard, room – sometimes even the shoe rack – so that I won’t be stopped by my unclean environment from being productive, actually studying for an hour or 2, and sleeping before I realize it. It was de rigueur for me to wear clothes such as shorts and loose tees so that I was ventilated enough to endure the undue heat. At the day time, I did not socialize much or jump into the virtual world of Instagram and Pinterest (Yup, I choose Pinterest over other social media. I am weird) because my friends were either in college or at work. At evening though, I mostly chatted with friends, complained about how difficult it is to study law subjects, and lived in the Home and Search sections of Instagram and Pinterest.

Now you see? Nothing much has changed for me. But still, there are so many things that I miss. I don’t miss meeting or interacting with my neighbours and classmates, which I regularly do. But I do miss rendezvousing with my friends, which is occasional. I miss being the surprise visitor for my friends at the end of a tiring week. I miss driving with my friend in pursuit of the perfect food joint even when we don’t have much money to spend. It may be the crowded, street-side Pani Poori bhaiya during a rainy day, or the promising Thalapakatti after one exhausting hot afternoon. It may be Shawarma during Chai time, or the nearest McD to use the coupon we acquired somehow. It may be one of our friends’ house, because her mom had made a special dish, or my house because it is fenced with a variety of food shops. Food was the prime basis at which our geographical choices were made.

I miss what we did when we are together. I miss often looking around, noticing there were younger people than us in the place and musing about how we spent our childhood watching Power Rangers and believing swallowing a seed could result in a plant growing inside you and out of your ears, nose, and mouth. Sighing recurrently and tip-toeing on the reminiscence of our happy days. Unfolding the contrast ongoing events of our life. Lamenting on how our life could have been better if not for the society, its inveterate evilness, and our unacceptance that the owl did not deliver the letter because we are not wizards. Gradually jumping into our fantasy of unconditional love and subtle wealth to buy all our favourite books and a house with space for a library, and go for a long trip together. Knocking on the doors of the inbuilt rage and sorrow of our inability to change neither our reality nor the arousing issues of our surroundings. At last laminating the day by taking photos.

I miss taking those pictures, rather than sitting at home and looking at it. Pictures are textbooks of memories. You can see them, read them, learn from them, but at some point, get bored of them. After all, pictures are not the embodiment of what you yearn for. They cannot bring back the loud, deathly laughter with snorts, the fragrance of the yummiest lunch when she opens her dabbha, the voice of my friend, sitting behind me, yelling at the other drivers on the road, the smack on my head when I steal her last piece of chicken. No long phone calls or unbreakable video calls can do the magic.

Speaking of chicken, I definitely miss every food joint and app. Nah, I did not always go physically to the restaurant every time I craved for a biryani. I used to often order-in to not disturb my inertia. But if I do that now, during a pandemic, my mom would chase me down the streets with a slipper or broomstick in her hand. So that question is out of the window.

Above all, I miss my liberty. For a girl who always longed to drive, it was a tremendous coup to get my driving license. Ever since, the road was my sky and my Honda Activa was my pair of wings. Not more than a year later, this pandemic shackled my wings and caged me.

Amongst all these interweaved things I miss, I am happy some people get to live my life (although, now that there are so many people doing the exact same thing as I, I almost feel unemployed). Do not mistake me. I do grieve for the people who are suffering. I am aware that the victims of this Pandemic are more than the ones who tested positive and I pray for all of us to survive this juggernaut.

I am just saying that I am grateful for some small pleasures at this time of difficulty. I am happy I get to spend more time with my family. I am happy I eat healthier nowadays (not out of choice, yet let’s put a smile on it). I am happy mom is free enough to make a lot of conventional sweets and snacks. I am happy to find my new talent in competitive games such as Ludo. I am happy my friends are also learning and developing their skills such as raising just one eyebrow. I am happy my sister is trying some killer recipes. I am happy her Dalgona did not kill me. I am happy we are helping mom with her chores. Above all, I am happy for my city. Like a demure girl who dances when alone, the city is smiling with beauty at its best.