In a moment's time

She, He and Love - Chapter 1

I waited beside a crowded bus stop. I did not want to stand out. I stood alongside a horde of giggling high school girls. Half-disgusted and half-jealous, I waited as my impatience whirled into a vortex every minute. I started tapping my feet and eating my lips. A few minutes later, my mobile rang. It was him. “I am in the Domino’s opposite to the bus stop. Come over.”

I found him seated in the last table by the glass window. I sat opposite to him. “What is wrong with you? Why are you late? You said “No” when I suggested meeting in Domino’s. Why are you here now? If you were changing plans, you could have at least told me, right? I would have waited here for you. I stood in a stupid bus stop for 20 minutes. And you just –”

“I am sorry, ma. But let me explain na!” He cut in my raging rant. I pursed my lips and so he continued. “My friends are on their way to meet you. And they informed me only 2 minutes ago. I called you as soon as I reached.” He paused to check on me. Since I did not say anything and looked calm now, he proceeded. “Now, do you know why they are coming? Because they want to see who the lucky girl is.” He flashed his teeth and winked at me in a cute way that my heart skipped a beat. I was the lucky girl – his girlfriend. A mini-me in my heart danced like a little girl who got a lifetime access to free candies. I had known him for 3 years, of which I crushed on him for the last one year and got committed to him just 2 weeks ago. Both of us hadn’t informed our friends yet. Or so I thought.

“Wait, you told your friends that we are committed now?”

“Yes, I told them last night. I mean, why do we have to keep it a secret?” he shrugged.

“So what did you mean when you said “They want to see who the lucky girl is”?”

“Well…” He smiled with mischief glistening in his eyes. “I told them I got committed. But I did not tell them who it was. I said it was a surprise. I thought I could tell when I meet them the day after tomorrow. But Viraj called in the morning and asked if I had any plans today. And I told him that I was going to meet my girlfriend. Then he must have told others and they must have made the sudden plan.”

“So basically, you have told them that you have a girlfriend now, but you haven’t told them that it is me?”

“Yes, it is going to be a surprise. They know that we both are best friends. They are coming to see my girlfriend who I am meeting today. They will know the instant they walk in and see you with me. They’ll know we are not just best friends but also a couple.” He flashed his teeth and winked in a cute way again. And my heart skipped a beat. Again.

Then it hit me and my heart ceased to beat. His friends were coming to see me. I have seen his friends in pictures. They were more or less like him. He was tall, fit, cute, AND hot. He had pretty eyes and a super cute smile. He was always very sweet and kind. The perfect guy that every girl wishes for. None of his friends were like me. I was not tall OR fit. I did not consider myself cute or hot. I didn’t have the perfect body or life. The kind of girl who would seem undesirable or invisible to guys. If there was one good thing about me, it was probably my humor. But then, most people who have a horrible life are supplemented with a good humor sense. Now, if his friends were about to see me, the first thing that they could possibly do is judge me by my looks. Or have they already done that? “Have they seen me before? Like … In pictures?”

“Of course they have,” he said as he noticed my nervousness. “What is it? Don’t you want to meet them? Or do you think they will judge you?”

“Neither,” I lied and tried to gulp down my anxiety and smile. But I couldn’t swallow. I guess my anxiety was too big. “Why don’t you go order something for us?” I needed some time to think.

“Okay. What do you want?”

“Are you kidding me? This is Domino’s. I will eat anything and everything they make here.”

He left to order with such a cute smile that I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The bored person behind the counter immediately lit up after looking at him. She blushed as he listed the order to her. I did not judge her. I mean, let’s be practical. Who wouldn’t be intimidated by someone who was that attractive?

The word attractive snapped me back to the problem. What was I going to do when his pretty-faced friends come in? There was a good chance for them to judge me or assume I was a gold-digger. They could even pretend to like me here and then call him later and convince him to break-up with me because I am not the right one for him. What was I going to do? Oh my god! I know what I should do. I picked up my bag to sprint to the door.

“Are we changing the table?” He said as he stood by the table like a waiter.

I dropped my bag along with my hopes to escape. This lucky girl did not feel lucky anymore. “Won’t we need a bigger table if your friends are going to join us?” I asked with a fake concern. 

“Nah. Don’t bother about them. They can borrow chairs from other tables. No issues. Besides, I don’t want to change the table. This is where we usually sit, right? This is our seat.” He came and sat next to me and held my hand underneath the table. Our fingers intertwined and somehow, staring into his eyes and listening to his soothing voice, eased me. All the anxiety in me evaporated. A smile hinted at the corner of my mouth. I could not believe I liked that obtrusively filmy moment. Had this been a movie, I would have hit the pause button and took a break to puke.

“It’s a Push, brainy,” came a voice that sounded loud in the almost silent restaurant, dragging us out of our first jiff of random-romance. He raised his left hand waved at the 5 people who were walking in. They came in excitedly and took 3 extra chairs from the nearest table and somehow fit themselves in, in this 4-seater table.

 “This is Viraj, Reema, Sandeep, Ananya and Kishore,” he pointed at each person as he said their names. “Guys, this is Priyanka”

I kept smiling at them, trying hard to hide my uneasiness.

“We know Priyanka,” said Reema and everyone turned to me.

“We have heard a lot about you Priyanka,” said Viraj. “How you guys are best friends, how you guys always understand each other, how close you guys are, all the pranks you pull on him, your jokes, he has told us so many stories”

“Yes. You are all he talks about when he doesn’t have anything useful to say,” said Sandeep. “And his gallery is filled with pictures of you or pictures of him with you”

Everyone laughed. I was starting to feel at ease again. “I have heard a lot about you guys as well. So I am guessing his way of starting a conversation is speaking about other people. And, obviously, his gallery is filled with me. If your best friend’s mobile camera is better than yours, you use it more than you use yours, right?”

Everyone laughed again and agreed. I was almost comfortable with them. What was I scared of? They seemed to be nice people. I should stop overthinking every situation.

“That’s our order number. I will go, get it.” He untangled his hand from mine and left. Kishore joined him.

I looked at the rest and smiled awkwardly.

“So, you and Dev have been best friends for two years, is it?” asked Reema, probably because she wasn’t used to silence.

Nope. We have known each other for three years and have been best friends for two and a half years but I did not feel like correcting her. So, I smiled and nodded, saying nothing.

“So …?” Reema asked, leaning in, expectantly.

“So …?” I repeated unable to curtail the gawky smile, knowing she had something in mind.

“So when is she coming?” asked Ananya.

“Who?” It hit me a second after I asked the question. I knew who she was asking about. I knew who they were expecting.

“Dev’s girlfriend. When is she coming?” asked Ananya.

“Have you met her before?” Reema seemed very inquisitive. I struggled to reflect her smile on my face. “I mean, you are Dev’s best friend. Have you met his girlfriend before? Or has he kept it a secret to you as well?” At that moment, I felt my heart freeze. It sensed no emotion but just felt heavy. I looked at Dev who was on the other side of the hall. There were some pizza boxes on the counter in front of him. He was probably waiting for the rest of the order. His back was facing me and he seemed more distant than the last time or the 32 other times we had come here.

I looked at my watch as a sluggish numbness enveloped me. It was exactly 6 p.m. – as exact as my fear that came true. Something struck my crashed mind, suddenly. I got up as I picked my bag. “I am sorry, but it is 6 p.m. and I have got to leave.”

“Does Dev know you are leaving?” asked Ananya.

“He knows I cannot stay after 6. I will bid him goodbye on my way out. No worries. I am sorry, I have to leave in such a haste.” I said and rushed from there. I kept staring at Dev as I walked towards him, praying he wouldn’t turn. Dev was like a comfy couch to me. But now, walking to him, I dreaded as if he was an electric chair. At that instant, someone opened the door and my racked mind found an escape from this coercing pain. I looked down, fixed my eyes at the floor, and darted out of the door when I got near it. I got into the first auto-rickshaw that stopped at my call, without even bargaining for the price and left from there.

Two minutes later my mobile rang. It flashed his name. Instead of answering or rejecting the call, I began texting him.
Amma txtd.
Something came up.
Sorry I left without informing.
Will explain you later.

By the time I clicked the send button, he was calling the second time. I cut the call. He would read the text and not call back, I hoped. My mobile flashed a text.
Please pick up my call.

I locked my mobile when he called again and switched it off when he called the next time. My eyes felt a little moist. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I was neither mad nor sad. I was just me – awkward, ugly, and unexplainable. A person who cannot be broken by such a petty thing. A bunch of people judging or marking my zone of presence cannot hurt me. I am a strong woman living a tough life. I am a hustler.’ I told myself silently.

I opened my eyes hoping my words would have healed me, at least momentarily. But the tear that dropped down my cheek when my eyelid flung up was enough to propel my self-control out of me. I broke down and cried. I bit my lower lips hard to stop all the bawling that was developing in me. I sobbed silently yet wildly until we stopped at the traffic signal. I looked at the side mirror. The driver anna looked away immediately. I wiped my eyes and looked at other adjacent vehicles and noticed a handful of people who were staring at me. I realized how pathetic and stupid I would have seemed. I realized how pathetic and stupid I felt. That realization subdued all the wailing that had erupted in me. I leaned back, laid my head on the left side for support, and stared at the absolute nothingness that I have become in a moment’s time.

To Be Continued.