An Obsession

I learn new things every day
About myself.
I learnt that I could hold my breath
Without my knowledge
When you spoke to me.
I learnt that my heart could beat loud
Without any intentions
When you came close to me.
Learning things about you
Was automated,
Observing you
Was a reflex.
You became a habit
A chap on my lips,
A song in my mind,
A nail on my finger,
A crown on my head.
When girls batted their lashes for you,
I stared at you obtrusively without remorse
Obtuse enough to make you aware
Of my parted lips and blinking captivation.
You walked to me like you owned this world
I stayed there unwaveringly rooted
Like I was your world.
I learnt you scurried in, callous,
Through the cracks of my heart.
You ripped it open enough
To feel love all the time
I was away from you,
To feel pain all the time
I was with you.
Hands intertwined
Or fate?
Hit with soft kisses
Smothered with cuddles
Suffocated with touches
I learnt I could be drenched.
The next stage was addiction
Goosebumps in the back of my neck
Slow-motion respiration
Inhale your scent,
Exhale covet.
I learnt you were more than
What you were to me –
A mistake I had to make,
A risk I needed to take.
I learnt you were my sweet-tooth
And you meant nothing to me but
An obsession.