In a Lifetime

She, He and Love - Chapter 3

I don’t understand why long-distance relationships don’t work. The further you go, the more you love, right?

I appeared in the gym only a few seconds before he walked in. He was wearing his best dark-blue tee-shirt and black track pants. With a gym bag hanging from a shoulder, black shades on, a heavy key in a hand, he gave an amazing, rich, heroic entry. Only to be disappointed because she was turned to the wall with headphones on. She had no idea about his entry or presence. That was disappointing because he came this way only to impress her with an amazing entrance.

But that disappointment was drowned within a fraction of seconds when he saw her. He saw the side of her face in the mirror and almost dropped his gym bag. He did not know when or for how long he had held his breath. But he had a mixture of intense feelings that were complicated or unknown to literature as a heavy breath slowly leaked out of his nose and mouth. It had just been a week. But it seemed like an eternity to him. He looked at her like he had found an oasis after walking for long in a desert. A painful warmth spread across his chest like a hot tea had been spilled. At that moment, for the umpteenth time, he fell in love with her.

She, unaware of the fact that she was not the only one in the gym, turned to the mirror only to find Dev staring at her. He smiled at her with a hint of sorrow in it. “I miss you”, screamed everything about him. Too shocked to find him standing there with that puppy face, she dropped her phone. The headphones got unplugged before it hit the ground and the mobile started singing, “Sirichu sirichu vandhan seena thana doi … ” She immediately picked it up and stopped the music. That was embarrassing. She slowly turned around, but only to catch a glimpse of him walking into the changing room.

This is bad, she thought. The first time they see each other after a week, he had a perfect sad-yet-happy face and she was listening to a Tamil Kuthu song. He’s gonna think I am over him, she worried.

A few minutes later, Dev joined Priyanka on the gym floor. “Where is Kabir?” he asked, nonchalantly, not looking at her. Kabir was their gym trainer.

“Gone home to have lunch.”

“Obviously. Where else would one be at 2 PM! 1-3 PM is when people generally eat food and take rest”

Priyanka glared at him. “I had food at 11:30 AM.”

“Of course. You are the queen of absurd choices. Why wouldn’t you have your lunch at 11:30 AM and be in the gym at 2 PM?!”

Priyanka puffed and turned to Dev. “Okay, ever heard of the word “Brunch”? And, since your choices aren’t “absurd”, why are you here at this hour?”

She waited for him to answer. Dev just faced the mirror ahead of them and began to warm-up. She turned away and continued with her workout facing the mirror as he.

Not three whole minutes had passed, “When is he coming back?” asked Dev as he did his final stretches.

“I don’t know”

“When did he leave?”

“About 15 minutes ago”

“Ha!” Dev let out a cold laugh.

Priyanka turned to him with a stern face. “What now?”

“Nothing. It’s just that… You know when he left and you don’t know if he is coming back. It’s so you.”

She rolled her eyes, almost annoyed. “He is our trainer, not your sanity. Of course, he is coming back, Dev.”

They both kept staring at each other. Priyanka – because she was irritated. Dev – because she said his name and even that brought back that pain-in-the-gut feel and he knew that if he said or showed it on his face, she could puke because it would sound cheesy and she hated cheesy stuffs.

Priyanka turned away first to continue her workout because she could feel the betrayal of her annoyance as it slowly changed its shade into affection. Dev reluctantly turned away and began his workout routine as well.

She managed to ignore his eyes even though she could sense them finding her once every two minutes. Somehow, she started to become more conscious and tugged little hair often behind her ear, unknowingly. Kabir walked in a few minutes later. He waved at Priyanka and was surprised to find Dev. “Hey, how come you are here at this hour?”

“How come you have opened your gym at this hour? I thought the gym was closed from one to three for lunch break.” Dev asked with a frown on his face.

“It was. Until Priyanka asked me to open because she said she had work in the evening and early morning.”

“And you believed that?”

“Why does it matter if I believed that or not? She asked and I said yes. That’s it” Kabir said, with disbelief as to why Dev was getting worked up about such a little matter.

“Well, the only work she has in morning and evening that requires her to stay away from the gym is to avoid me,” Dev said with a blend of anger and sadness and sat on the seat of a machine.

Kabir got a cue of the situation. “Oooooohhhh! So you both are fighting, huh? Aren’t you guys a little old for these kinda games?” asked Kabir in a voice loud enough to reach Priyanka. Dev shot a stare at Kabir with disbelief. How could he do that? Why did he do that? Now she is going to think that I –

“Looks like he certainly is not, since he is going around complaining about me to people,” Priyanka said.

“Well, you did not leave me with much of a choice, did you? And it’s called sharing and not “complaining”. But then, why would you care about what I call it. All you care about is what you have to say. Actually, I am surprised you are standing here and listening to what I am saying.” Priyanka clutched her jaw and went back to her workout, and so Dev yelled, “That’s right. Turn away and ignore me. Because clearly, that’s the only thing you are good at doing.”

Priyanka stopped. “And the only thing you are good at is not disclosing about us to people. So why are you doing this now?” She yelled back.

“What?” Dev seemed baffled. “I am good at not disclosing about us? You came up with the idea of keeping it a secret. I was the one who chose to reveal it to my friends. I was the one who took the initiative of disclosing anything at all.”

“Yea. And look where it has brought us now.” Priyanka said and resumed her dumbbell workout.

This was a dismay to Dev. It took him to a point where he could not take any more of it. She was blaming him entirely and for what? He did not know and could not understand. That just hit his nerve. He rushed to Priyanka with an agitated face. Kabir ran to stop anything bad that could happen.

Dev stood in front of Priyanka with hands on his hips and demanded, “What is your problem? Why are you blaming me? What exactly are you blaming me for? You were the one who ran away that day. You were the one who broke up with me. What, in the world, are you thinking is my fault?”

Kabir, now standing beside them, looking purely perplexed, said, “Wait. You guys are dating? Since when?”

“If you don’t know the answer already, there is no use of me telling it to you now,” Priyanka replied, Dev’s anger vibrating in her.

“For how long have you guys been dating? How come I didn't know?” Kabir was still not over the shock.

“I thought I knew. But now I have my doubts. So please stop bullshitting me and just answer. What was the problem? Why are you mad at me? Why are you avoiding me? Why – “

“Problem? Is that why you have been coming to the gym in the afternoons? To avoid him?” This was too much information for Kabir.

“ – did you break up with me?” Dev finished and everyone fell silent. The only thing audible were the thick breaths taken and let out by Dev and Priyanka who were staring at each other with too much of an emotion that Kabir could not classify. Understanding the intensity of the question and their silence, Kabir said, “I will go downstairs and have a cup of tea. Hope you guys sort it out in half an hour because people are going to start walking in.”

Priyanka waited till the glass door closed behind Kabir. She did not take her eyes off Dev. But some other things were running in her mind. Some other faces were showing up and saying stuff that she did not want to hear.

Dev waited for a minute and repeated, “Why did you break up with me? Who gets committed to a person they have known for years only to break up within 2 weeks? Answer me now. No one’s leaving until then.”

After taking some more time, Priyanka spoke. “I broke up because we cannot happen.”

Dev waited for more of an explanation. But that was all Priyanka said and that irked Dev more than what she said. “What? What do you mean “we cannot happen”?” Dev threw his hands out.

“I mean, we are better off as friends maybe. But we cannot be a couple”

“And why is that?”

“What do you mean by “why”?” Dev’s unceasing questions only infuriated Priyanka and she began to yell. “Go ask your friends. They seemed pretty shaken and almost unable to believe that I am your girlfriend. Go ask the people out there who shoot stares at us because we both do not seem like two people who could be in a relationship with each other. I believe I am a better person and I don’t need people with judgy eyes to make me feel otherwise just because I am committed with a guy who is hot. Which is why I don’t want this. Us. I would rather be hurt momentarily than let this leech-ish insecurity cling on to me for the rest of my life.”

Priyanka was both relieved and embarrassed after yelling her heart out. Dev was shocked. Not surprised. Yet shocked. He had guessed everything she said. But knowing Priyanka, he then believed he would be proved wrong. For once, being right enraged him. He sat on a nearby bench and put his head in his hands. He seemed to be in despair and Priyanka felt bad and wanted to comfort him. “We could still be friends, you know,” she said in a very low voice.

“Please stop talking.” Dev sat there like that for a few solid minutes. After which he put his hand under his chin and sat there for some more time.

Priyanka gave him the time he needed. Although she wanted to be calm about the whole thing, it frightened her that he hadn’t spoken for so long. She was impatient to know what he was thinking. “What are you thinking? Please say something. You are kinda freaking me out”

Dev shot a look up at Priyanka. “Freaking you out?” He stood up. “Freaking you out? Priyanka I feel in love with a woman who did not give a damn about other’s opinions. She had a life where she believed was completely in her hand. She believed her success was her hard work and her failure was her responsibility. She did not blame anyone much for anything and was strong and independent in many ways. Now she wants to break up because some random people seemed like they had a different opinion. I feel like I don’t know her at all. She felt like a stranger to me when she said those things. What do you think I would have felt? Huh? Freaked out, it seems!”

Priyanka stood there silently. A mild pain and immense realization hit her as she listened. The truth in his words spread across her organs like poison and a feel of shame followed it. She stood there, staring at a distant nothing, unable to respond.

Dev looked at her and knew in an instant what was going on in her head. He felt bad for making her feel bad. After taking a deep breath, he went close to her and said in a low, soothing voice, “Priyanka, firstly, people always find excuses to stare at others or gossip, and I’m aware that you know better than to let that bother you. So I am not going to address it. Secondly, my friends are just my friends. I haven’t known them for more than 9 months. If you are thinking that their thoughts and opinions matter, let me tell you this, they don’t. They know next to nothing about both of us. They don’t know I go to the gym not to maintain my shape but because I binge eat at midnights. They don’t know I avoid watching romantic movies with people not because I am too macho for that but because I end up crying sometimes. They don’t know I don’t hang out on Sundays not because I sleep in but because I help my mom in cooking and household chores. These are some of the stuff I am still insecure about admitting to them because I am not yet that comfortable or close with them. If you want to acknowledge the opinion of a friend of mine, it should be Ashok’s. You know him. He has been my best friend since school. His opinions matter to me and you know what he said when I told him you broke up with me? He said “Are you gonna just let her go? Don’t. She is the best you could find. Don’t let her go.” Now you look me in the eye and tell me. Should I let you go? Do we have to break up?”

Priyanka looked up at Dev, into his eyes. Initially, they were pleading, and then, they mutated into calmness, ease, assurance, and love. That was because Dev could sense Priyanka’s silent “Yes”. It needn’t be said, it needn’t be heard, he just knew. A smile slowly appeared on his face. He held her hand and intertwined fingers, just the way he did in Domino’s that day. Priyanka let out a sigh. It was wrong of her to let a stupid insecurity bother their relationship. But that did not make Dev hate her. He knew her enough to understand and make her understand. He did not pinpoint it on her face and demand her to accept her fault. Not that it was needed, Priyanka found a fourth reason to fall in love with him.

An apologetic smile appeared on her face. She nodded slowly and said, “I’m sorry.” Dev’s smile widened with happiness. He took a step closer and rested his forehead on hers. The moment was perfect as she stood close to his chest where she could listen to his heart beat rhythmically to that of hers, as his soft breath touched her face as beautifully and lightly as his nose that was in clash with hers. She wished time to freeze there and then, when Dev said, “So,… did I hear you call me hot some time ago?” They both laughed. I laughed along with them.

“Let’s not fight anymore,” said Dev. Spoiler: They did. A lot. “And let’s not bring up the concept of breaking up until that is the only option.” Spoiler: They brought it up often than you and I could expect. Priyanka nodded and said, “Let’s be ourselves and never change who we are to each other.” Spoiler: They never changed who they were to each other. How do I know you ask? Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Love. I know everything about their relationship because from that moment forth, I was with them throughout their good days and bad, rain and shine, comfort and hardship, celebrations and struggles. After all, I am the best friend that one could ever have in their lifetime.

The End.